One of the reasons marriage has such a high divorce rate?

[Sputty]

http://www.sacbee.com/24hour/weird/story/1945580p-9922247c.html

It seems odd, like they're trying to force him to get married to someone he doesn't want to, as if it'll somehow work out. Anyone else think this is a really stupid thing to do? Heh, it puts more emphasis on the act of getting married rather than staying married, and if the guy really doesn't want to, trying to punish him for not doing it is the dumbest thing possible.

[Derfud]

I think there is a little more to it than that. As it said, he had been dating her for three years. To call off a wedding with a text message seems odd to me, let alone the fact that he is missing now.

[k9k922]

I think there is a little more to it than that. As it said, he had been dating her for three years. To call off a wedding with a text message seems odd to me, let alone the fact that he is missing now.


I agree. People don't usually date for that long then break it off on wedding night. To top it off dissappear. Someone who loves his sport that much does not dissappear usually

[Nihil]

i think there are two reasons for the high divorce rates:

1 - People change. As they grow up they learn more about themselves and what they want and what they do not want. Humans are not naturally monogamous, if we were, we'd meet our lifemates sometime after puberty and that would be the end of it. Someone who is good for you today, might not be good for you tomorrow. The only thing worse than getting divorced is spending your life making each other miserable. Once humans abandoned the tribal lifestyle for a nuclear one, things became vastly more complex. In a more natural setting pairs would bond, mate and split up and the harm would be mitagated because the rest of the tribe would help with raising the children. Today we dump that responsibility almost entirely on the mother, who is also expected to have a career.

2 - Women make almost as much as men. Sometimes when i point this out women get pissed off at the word "almost". Remember, pointing out something is not the same as agreeing with it. Statistically speaking for the same job title and experience, women make about 60% of what a man would make. There are exceptions, but i'm talking averages. Women in the workplaces means they are less afraid to leave their husbands. It used to be that leaving a husband left her and the children at the mercy the courts and her family. Now she can get a job, and likely already has one. While this has caused some complications (in gender roles and division of labor), over all i see this as a good thing. It means if her husband is a cheat or is abusive, she can bail and protect her children.

In terms of the article: it is not his employer's business who, when or if he marries. i'd rather he bail on the wedding today, than bail ten years from now when there are kids in the picture and they have both wasted 10 years of their lives.

To lower divorce rates i suggest having a waiting period for the marriage license, of at least 6 months. And/or have a temporary marriage license, good for 5 years. At the end of 5 years both parties must reapply. If one or both backs out, they may do so with a clean break.

[JetRaiden]

Marriage seems more like an opprotunity for tax benefits then anything these days.

[MrVicchio]

Having BEEN through divorce, let me chime in here.

Marriages are too easy to be had, and too easy to end.

One party (namely the woman ecspecially if children are involved) gets a definite advantage. My ex gets 623 a month in child support, I took ALL the bills, she got the Van, gets 1/2 of ANY profit selling the house... it's insane.

[DeepStrikeck]

The thing to do is not to restrict marraige (forced wait time or "probation" period (5 year idea)) but to find someone you will actually stick with for the rest of your life and someone you're willing to stick with. I think people should date a few years before becoming engaged, then be engaged for a year or so before the wedding. (what I plan to do) so that you really get to know your spouse-to-be before you marry them. And that a couple should do whatever they can to salvage and save the marraige. Be counseling or whatever. (Unless abusive, naturally) Then if it does end up with a divorce, to have everyone not be greedy jerks who are trying to spite their exes. People need to be courteous to each other, not take 'em for all their worth. People like that who take all the money and custody and try to screw (for lack of a better word) people they loved are just morons who don't deserve to ever marry again nor be in love. People like that just flat out need to be yelled/hit/chastised about what jerks they are being.

[MrVicchio]

Deep, we did. 18 months before we wed. 8 years, 2 kids, 5 moves and 3 cars and a house.

She gave up. Period. There is nothing you can do when that happens.

I agree though, that waiting, and making sure, listening to friends, family, and the like, helps alot.

Marriage is something special, and you have to WORK at it, it doesn't just happen.

[DeepStrikeck]

It always troubles me when I hear that people have divorced. I hate to hear that someone gave up on one of the most important things in life. But I guess that's the way life goes.

[Nihil]

Having BEEN through divorce, let me chime in here.

Marriages are too easy to be had, and too easy to end.

One party (namely the woman ecspecially if children are involved) gets a definite advantage. My ex gets 623 a month in child support, I took ALL the bills, she got the Van, gets 1/2 of ANY profit selling the house... it's insane.

Word.

It seems that our system for dealing with divorce could use an update to reflect current societal trends.

Making people wait and work for getting married might get them to take it more seriously. i think many ppl do it because it is the next thing to do. We learn this list of items to check off in order to fit in with society, to appease our parents and get validation from our peers. i think this pressure is especially hard for women.

[Headrattle]

marriages are ending what, 50% of the time? Devorces are fact. There might be may reasons for this. Pressure to get married is one, and almost ended my marriage because we weren't really ready. But we are OK now that we have worked things out. But that doesn't happen all of the time. The one you love may or may not be compatable with how you live. So your love dies.

I don't see Marriages going away. They are a fact of life. A chance you take when you get married. I know that it is possible that I may still get devorced. I knew that when I got married. It sucks, but it happens.

I just wish it wasn't so slanted toward the women, but I think that shows the inequality of the women in this society in that it is believed that they can't take care of themselves.