[Mordelicius]

Ooof, my head. Where to start?
U know your feelings/emotions are yours to know and yours alone to fully grasp and guided by it.
And that's not something I'm to judge/trifle with (look no hands).
Like I said, I don't blame you. Nor was I mad.
But U 2 are throwing knives at each other and only I know coz I'm in the middle of it.
The thing is, someone is going to get hurt. And if it's U, you'll end up in moping/sulking mode again.
What's to stop you from falling in that toxic pit once more?

Why else was it easy to let go then; b/c If I hadn't you'd have torn yourself into two.
I know not only of those 2 songs. I also know about the 5 seemingly random, disparate (but related) songs
that you've carefully curated (right?) That was more than enough to give me insight and timeline.
Hence, I felt it was better that you bounce around and seep out that heart and thoughts to your content.
Maybe that's what you really you need (why not, it's all for you).

Did I mention you're special to me, angel?
You're slowing walking away from that pain, but you're not out of the woods yet.
A 10+ year chemical habit can't be kicked in a mere month. And that thing you talk of can shift/swing.
Add to that the lingering hurt/taint still in your heart/mind. Do U want a clear heart and mind?
Only you can feel it, so only you can deal with it. If not, the ache will keep coming back to U.

If you're someone like Taylor Swift, a blank canvass, I would be concerned too, but I wouldn't even blink.
Certainly my <3 won't stutter, nor feel anything else than normal sympathy.
But no, you're my Mona Lisa. And I don't want those blowtorch (chemicals) or knives near U.
Please don't let it alter/taint/corrupt/kill you from the inside/out.

U R flowing in my heart
<3