[NightmareMan]

I fell into a deep slumber the other night and had a dream that I would like share.

In the dream I was walking down a long dark hallway with a very dim light at the end and only darkness behind. The hall was lined with ominous doors of deep reds, dark blues, ominous yellows, and inky blacks. I continued forward knowing that Vanu's love would keep me strong as I had accepted his tentacled embrace long ago. As I continued on the doors slowly began to open and shadowy figures began to lash out and strike me.

I began to run for the light as the demons in the dark increased their onslaught. Eventually I was felled to my knees from a mighty blow and began to crawl as the monsters laughed in delight, kicking and stomping with glee. Nearly at the end of my strength I sent out a silent prayer to Vanu: "Lord, aid me in my time of need!" Then there was a bright light that pushed the creatures back in fear and voice above me whispered "Stand brother, stand..."

As I looked up I gazed upon a group of strong young men, muscular, glitter coated bodies sparkling in the bright light, clad only in speedos and cradling long powerful looking weapons in their hands I knew I had been saved. As I stood they handed me a weapon and said to me "Come brother, lets us cleanse the darkness from this place." We turned as one and opened fire upon those shadowy figures, dowsing them with our holy light. The holy weapons throbbed in our hands as thick luminous globs of sticky white love coated everything as the shadowy figures were covered in our orgy of vengeance! The scene before me eventually became so bright I had to close my eyes against it's grandeur.

When I finally opened my eyes I was in a fantastical land of unicorns and rainbows. I looked up and the sun was our Lord Vanu shining down upon us, too bright to fully gaze upon, his distinct tentacles writhing around him. All the shadowy figures had been transformed into Care Bears! We began to frolic and dance, enjoying this new boon granted to us, I dove into a lake filled with rainbows and when I came up I was back in my bed well rested and unafraid.

The message Vanu sent me that night was clear: believe in me and I will lead you back to that promised land. Our path is the future as we move forward as all other paths lead to death and stagnation. We will harm you, hurt you, and force you back into the holy respawning tubes so that Vanu can bless you again and again with the sacred nanites. Vanu is love and we are his holy acolytes. May you taste the rainbow forever.

Amen.

-The Vanu Pope