I see you missed the second. third, and fourth pages of that document.
Page 2 discusses exactly how to achieve interdimentional travel with the beany.
Page 3 discusses aligning the beany so that women have an uncrontrollable urge to sleep with the wearer of the beany.
(not that the vanu need it since we have a naturaly wonderful sence of style, and fashion)
Page 4 tells how to use the beany to gain entrance to the restaraunt that has the best pizza in the universe. No pizza for you!!!