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Old 2004-12-13, 11:36 AM   [Ignore Me] #1
Smaug
Lieutenant Colonel
 
{Waffles}My Teacher is an Idiot


So, in Junior Studies(Slack-off) class we had to make a survey, on any topic we wanted. Naturally, I chose the most ridiculous topic I could, without getting expelled/suspended, the Smurfs. Either by design, or accident, she gave me full points, for the most half-assed survey ever. The carnage follows:


This survey will be used to question smurf lovers. Everyone loves the hit cartoon "the Smurfs". We will be asking about your favorite and least favorite smurfs. Please answer truthfully, smurfs are very serious business.

1. Who is your favorite Smurf?

2. Why is he/she the smurfiest?

3. Do you think Smurfs have computers? Yes/No(circle one)

4. If you answered yes to #3, what clock speed do you think they've reached on their processors in Smurfville?

5. What is your interpretation of the phrase "You totally got smurfed"?

6. Why don't Smurfs wear shirts?

7. Does Smurf Nation have a flag?

8. If so, what does it look like?

9. Why does Papa Smurf have red pants? Does he think he is better than the other smurfs or something?

10. Has Gargamel ever even tasted a smurf?

11. If not, then why does he keep trying to catch one? They are probably all muscle. Those little things can run.

12. Should the Smurfs upgrade their housing to new state-of-the-art concrete and steel construction, or keep their cute and cozy mushroom houses?

13. Did Papa Smurf ever have a wife? Perhaps she died in childbirth. There sure are a lot of Smurfs, right?

14. Do Smurfs live on Earth?

15. If so, in what country?

16. When Gargamel finally catches a Smurf, will he boil it in a stew, bake it, or deep fry it?

17. You've never watched the Smurfs, have you?

18. Why don't the Smurfs have any great philosophers, scientists, or mathematicians?

19. I mean, kids can't look up to Papa Smurf or anything, he's an old blue guy that looks like Santa Claus. Why aren't there any role model Smurfs?

20. Who would let their kids watch this crap? It is a story of misery and defeat. Come on, if your childrens cartoon features a miniature, blue civilization being constantly invaded by a cat named Azrael, you have a sick, twisted mind. Plus, do you remember the episode when the Smurf dam breaks and washes Smurfville away? PURE EVIL!
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