Hi Orisoll,
Don't worry, that intro was absolutely great. The way it is written makes me feel like I'm in the middle of grimy, muddy Hossin, in the thick of the action. Also, I like how you make it seem like a 'real' war, with all its gore and horribleness, a much more realistic different perspective than what the game gives us
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Keep it up! Look forward to reading more,
Sonny