PlanetSide Universe - View Single Post - Lasher, Jackhammer and MCG.
View Single Post
Old 2012-07-05, 02:15 PM   [Ignore Me] #51
jakaul's Avatar
Re: Lasher, Jackhammer and MCG.

Let's be real here, this is mostly about skill and less about weapons. This is about one empire that tends to bring more skilled players to its side to make up for the shitty weapon that we're given. I will give you a breakdown of the average player for each empire - and this is scientific fact based off of empire-ical evidence (lol, witty). I will utilize my vast knowledge of movie characters to illustrate as I question how well read most TR and NC soldiers are.

TR - You look cool with your goggles and daunting (that means scary for you NC folks) red and black colors. The MCG shoots a lot of bullets in a short amount of time, so you guys apparently think you're Jesse Ventura from Predator. You ain't got time to bleed, huh? A sexual Tyrannosaurus? You obviously ain't got time to realize distance is your friend when it comes to doing battle. While you're running forward singing tyrannical anthems blasting lead, you come into the killing zone of both other empires' HA weapons. Brawn but no brains. Wah, my TTK is so much longer than everyone else's - take it from me, who is used to being so much longer than everyone else - your TTK is only longer if you both don't miss, which means you need to play to your strengths (hint, it's the same thing that really hot chick does to you - keeps her distance). No, not having time to bleed isn't a strength. Nor are goggles. You look stupid. Two out of three empires agree.

NC - Hoooly crap. You're "rebels" with big guns and horrible aim. Fight the power, fight the tech nerds. Reminds me of Arnold Schwarzenegger as the Terminator with your big ass shotgun, sunglasses and grim expression. Boom, click, boom, click, boom, click, boo...oh hell, I died. Hey, I have an idea, why not jump in a huge suit with an even BETTER Boom Clicker and shields to make up for my horrible aim? My bullets SPREAD so there's more chance that one of the tiny bastards will hit something other than a wall! I digress since the Scat is a whole different level of stupid that belongs in a different game like Blacklight Retribution. But anyway, it's fitting that your tag line is "I'll be back" because you try to engage the other empires from 50m with your 10m ownage gun and then you scamper off to get your silly fat MAX suit. I mean, why wouldn't you need 600 armor and shields against that agile? Breaking news - the Terminator still dies. Even after he gets a Falcon because his Scat is on a timer.

VS - Here's the time I get real on this thread. The VS brings the most skilled players due to the nature of their Heavy Assault weapon. You don't really know where the orbs are going. You don't really know if they're going to register when they hit. But, you damn well know it's going to be a bad ass light show for the whole ride. People accuse us of doing the ADAD strafe while shooting pretty orbs of some crazy shit all over the immediate area. We're straight John Travolta - from our Staying Alive inspired warp, to our technological might like Battlefield Earth, all the way down to your questioning of our sexuality. You know what, we even toss in some Phenomenon with our knowledge that we're probably going to die in the very near future, but only after we Change The World (if you get that reference, bonus points). It takes skill to kill people with a weapon that's so unreliable. Especially in purple. Pew pew bitches.

In summary, the evidence above has clearly shown a distinct lack of skill on the part of TR and NC players when it comes to heavy assault weaponry. Well, NC lack of skill is kind of all around to the point you're not entirely sure why they're still performing basic human functions, but that's just getting personal.
Delta Triad. Awesome.
jakaul is offline  
Reply With Quote