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2004-12-13, 11:36 AM | [Ignore Me] #1 | |||
Lieutenant Colonel
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So, in Junior Studies(Slack-off) class we had to make a survey, on any topic we wanted. Naturally, I chose the most ridiculous topic I could, without getting expelled/suspended, the Smurfs. Either by design, or accident, she gave me full points, for the most half-assed survey ever. The carnage follows:
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2004-12-13, 12:34 PM | [Ignore Me] #5 | ||
Lightbulb Collector
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Yeah, you win.
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The gun katas. Through analysis of thousands of recorded gunfights, the Cleric has determined that the geometric distribution of antagonists in any gun battle is a statistically predictable element. The gun kata treats the gun as a total weapon, each fluid position representing a maximum kill zone, inflicting maximum damage on the maximum number of opponents while keeping the defender clear of the statistically traditional trajectories of return fire. By the rote mastery of this art, your firing efficiency will rise by no less than 120%. The difference of a 63% increase to lethal proficiency makes the master of the gun katas an adversary not to be taken lightly. |
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2004-12-13, 03:24 PM | [Ignore Me] #10 | ||
Colonel
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1. Brainy Smurf. Besides Pap smurf, that's the only one I can think of right now.
2. He's blue, he's small, he hasn't been eaten. What more does he need? 3. These days, everyone has electronics... even those Oompa-Loompas forced to work for nearly nothing by that evil Willy Wonka have cell phones these days. 4. 1.5 gig, at most. Those PC's would have to be small, and would have to cut back a little to reach tha size. Come to think think of it, they'd probably use Apples instead. They're from France, right? 5. "Your balls are blue!" 6. It's France, they are doing it because all their shirts probably got stained with fancy coffee or something. 7. Yes. 8. It's blue, duh! 9. Papa Smurf is a veteran French Zouave, and always wears his old red Zouave Pants, because his other ones were captured and burned by the Germans. 10. Signs point to no. 11. Answer hazy, ask again later. 12. Upgrade it, the French these days usually go take Mushrooms and sell them. The whole Smurf Village could be destroyed by some Frenchman with poor eyesight. 13. Yeah, he had a wife. Otherwise, how would be be Papa Smurf? 14. Yes. I already said that. 15. Stinking Socialist Commie Pinko Bastard European Tree-Hugging Red France. 16. Boil it. Gargamel sucks at cooking, boiling is the easiest of the choices. 17. Sadly, I have. 18. They have Brainy, don't they? Doesn't that count? 19. Of course they don't have any good role models! They live in France, after all! 20. My parents would let me watch it. It's evil, yes, but still fun. |
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