Funny letter I found!

[mikkyT]

This aint a polictical statement by me, its just damn funny!

""A letter to the London Observer from Terry Jones (of Monty Python).
Letter to the Observer, Sunday 26 January 2003


I'm really excited by George Bush's latest reason for bombing Iraq: he's running out of patience. And so am I! For some time now I've been really pissed off with Mr Johnson, who lives a couple of doors down the street. Well, him and Mr Patel, who runs the health food shop. They both give me queer looks, and I'm sure Mr Johnson is planning something nasty for me, but so far I haven't been able to discover what.


I've been round to his place a few times to see what he's up to, but he's got everything well hidden. That's how devious he is. As for Mr Patel, don't ask me how I know, I just know - from very good sources that he is, in reality, a Mass Murderer. I have leafleted the street telling them that if we don't act first, he'll pick us off one by one. Some of my neighbours say, if I've got proof, why don't I go to the police? But that's simply ridiculous. The police will say that they need evidence of a crime with which to charge my neighbours.


They'll come up with endless red tape and quibbling about the rights and wrongs of a pre-emptive strike and all the while Mr Johnson will be finalising his plans to do terrible things to me, while Mr Patel will be secretly murdering people. Since I'm the only one in the street with a decent range of automatic firearms, I reckon it's up to me to keep the peace. But until recently that's been a little difficult. Now, however, George W. Bush has made it clear that all I need ! to! do is run out of patience, and then I can wade in and do whatever I want!


And let's face it, Mr Bush's carefully thought-out policy towards Iraq is the only way to bring about international peace and security. The one certain way to stop Muslim fundamentalist suicide bombers targeting the US or the UK is to bomb a few Muslim countries that have never threatened us.


That's why I want to blow up Mr Johnson's garage and kill his wife and children. Strike first! That'll teach him a lesson. Then he'll leave us in peace and stop peering at me in that totally unacceptable way. Mr Bush makes it clear that all he needs to know before bombing Iraq is that Saddam is a really nasty man and that he has weapons of mass destruction - even if no one can find them. I'm certain I've just as much justification for killing Mr Johnson's wife and children as Mr Bush has for bombing Iraq. Mr Bush's long-term aim is to make the world a safer place by eliminating 'rogue states' and 'terrorism'. It's such a clever long-term aim because how can you ever know when you've achieved it?


How will Mr Bush know when he's wiped out all terrorists? When every single terrorist is dead? But then a terrorist is only a terrorist once he's committed an act of terror. What about would-be terrorists? These are the ones you really want to eliminate, since most of the known terrorists, being suicide bombers, have already eliminated themselves. Perhaps Mr Bush needs to wipe out everyone who could possibly be a future terrorist? Maybe he can't be sure he's achieved his objective until every Muslim fundamentalist is dead? But then some moderate Muslims might convert to fundamentalism. Maybe the only really safe thing to do would be for Mr Bush to eliminate all Muslims?


It's the same in my street. Mr Johnson and Mr Patel are just the tip of the iceberg. There are dozens of other people in the street who I don't like and who - quite frankly - look at me in odd ways. No one will be really safe until I've wiped them all out. My wife says I might be going too far but I tell her I'm simply using the same logic as the President of the United States. That shuts her up.


Like Mr Bush, I've run out of patience, and if that's a good enough reason for the President, it's good enough for me. I'm going to give the whole street two weeks - no, 10 days - to come out in the open and hand over all aliens and interplanetary hijackers, galactic outlaws and interstellar terrorist masterminds, and if they don't hand them over nicely and say 'Thank you', I'm going to bomb the entire street to kingdom come. It's just as sane as what George W. Bush is proposing and, in contrast to what he's intending, my policy will destroy only one street.


Terry Jones""

[Zatrais]

hehe

[CockRoach]

he got a point there, i still think bush should bomg iraq tho

[ABRAXAAS]

Thats some funny shit

[Lexington_Steele]

This does pose an interesting question though. If you know someone commited a crime, you know that they are going to commit a crime against you and you family, but you have no conviction worthy evidence that you can present to authorities, what is the right thing to do? Stay within the law? Protect the interests of yourself and your family?

You might as well do your best to convince the authorities to do something. In the end, if the authorities are not willing to help you, is protecting the interests of you and your family so horrible, even if you are breaking the law?

[Confectrix]

CockRoach

Just noticed your signature.

Question.

Human supidity is infinite as you say. Humans are finite. How can a finite being exhibit an infinite amount of anything?

Your quote is illogical.

Thought you'd like to know.

Yours,

[Fire_Monkey]

[Confectrix]

What's really crazy is how can a human being think of the infinite being only finite himself?

How can a finite being think of the infinite and seek to understand it [espically in mathematical equations]?

How can the infinite exist without the finite. Therefore, does this presuppose the true existance of the infinite?

To study such things strikes at the root of all knowlege. To study such things is to study philosophy.

Try it sometime.

And not that Marxist garbage.

[Derv]

Wow Confectrix, you like to flame a lot.... I found that letter to be quite humorous and took it as the way it was supposed to be taken. It seems to me that "somebody" didn't find it so funny. And I agree that this does bring up some important questions, that everyone should consider, maybe even the President himself.

Maybe what Bush is doing goes against the laws and the Constitution itself? It seems to me to be a subjective balance between "safety" and "evidence." Although some people say that we are acting to prevent the mistake that we and many other countries made before WWII, which was to try to prevent war from occurring for as long as possible, I don't think that Saddam has crossed the line that Hitler did.

[Confectrix]

Blah.

Flame. No. I'm not on that often, but when I am, I like to be on and let me voice be heard.

I don't care if the letter is funny.

It matters not.

Yours,

[Lexington_Steele]

Not everything has to be philosophy. It seemed more to be commentary on human behavior rather then philosophy.

That which is not logical often works for humor or literary purposes.

I am not sure how that was Marxist. (It very well could relate to Marxism, I just didn't make the connection)

CockRoach, I think your sig is just fine.

[Confectrix]

Lex:

This is my last post since my hour internet time is over.

Everything is philosophy. To be or not to be, that is the question. Speak with Shakespeare on this one.

Logic is often intertwined in humor. It makes it more sensible; and less chaotic. Real humor cleverly hides the logic.

I didn't say his letter was Marxist. No, it probably wasn't. I was encouraging the reading of philosophy, but not the readin of marxist philosophy. My last post here had nothing to do with the letter. Call it spam if you will.

Cockroach's sig is fine; but illogical. Illogical is fine.

Farewell unto farewell Lex:

[Lexington_Steele]

I saw it as a logical use of the word infinitely.

Can you rewrite the quote without the uses of the word infinately (or a similar word describing something without limits) without ruining the humor that was attached to the statement?

If there was no other way to make the same statement with the same effect, then there was a clear logic to the statement.

[Bighoss]

Originally posted by Confectrix
CockRoach

Just noticed your signature.

Question.

Human supidity is infinite as you say. Humans are finite. How can a finite being exhibit an infinite amount of anything?

Your quote is illogical.

Thought you'd like to know.

Yours,

I think its an expression that he made up as a joke or he got that from the Darwin award. You just here so many stupid deaths that perhaps human stupidy in the most infinite thing we know of today because we actually can't even picture infinity were too stupid sadly

[Sputty]

...Right...anyway..The amazing philosophical discussion is revving up JK. BTW, I hate most quotes. PSU's are good as they are funny and original but most people quoting scientists are idiots spewing info they don't understand. Although..the thinig you said wasnt so much info as an idea...Anyway..BAH!